St. Michael and All Angels Sandhurst
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Bereavement

As a church, we are used to helping people at significant times in their lives, and bereavement is one of those times.  The type of bereavement people most commonly think of is losing a loved one through death, but there are other kinds of losses that bring out similar reactions in us, including divorce or separation, loss of good health or losing your job.

The Church is there for everyone in the community, whether or not they are regular churchgoers, and we aim to give whatever pastoral support we can at difficult times, and where appropriate signpost people to more specialist kinds of help.

When Someone Dies

Losing someone brings not only all sorts of difficult feelings, but a lot of practical things to do.  There are several online guides that give you advice about registering a death, who to inform, stopping mail, etc. One useful website is www.bereavementadvice.org. You may also have been given a leaflet by the hospital or your GP.

One thing you need to do early on is appoint a Funeral Director, who will co-ordinate practical arrangements, collect the body and book the church or crematorium.  You can find a local funeral director through this website: https://funeral-directory.co.uk  

Organising a Funeral

The Church of England is happy to provide a  Christian funeral service for anyone, regardless of whether they attended a church. A funeral can take place in the church or at the crematorium or cemetery.  It is also possible to have a service in church followed by a short ceremony of committal at the crematorium (or if appropriate the other way round).

The town of Sandhurst is covered by St Michael’s Church and by St George’s in Owlsmoor Road. Between us we will guarantee to provide a Christian funeral for anyone who asks.

Usually you will meet first with your chosen Funeral Director, who will then contact our Parish Office to discuss the date and time of the funeral, and which minister will be leading the service. The minister will then get in touch with the next of kin to arrange a meeting to plan the service, and will give you help with choosing hymns and readings.  A lay member of our bereavement team may also attend the meeting, with your agreement.  If it is not possible for the meeting to take place in person, due to distance or reasons connected with the Covid epidemic, it could happen by video conferencing (we usually use Zoom) or telephone.
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There is helpful advice about planning a funeral on the Church of England website https://www.churchofengland.org/life-events/funerals .

​If you are thinking of a burial in the churchyard, you should also consult this page from the Diocese of Oxford, which includes advice about the regulations governing what kind of memorial can be authorised in a churchyard: https://www.oxford.anglican.org/our-faith/life-events/funerals/.  Please also see our churchyard page.

After the Funeral

​We are always happy to arrange a follow-up visit if you would like to talk more about how things are for you after all the busyness of planning the funeral has calmed down. Do feel free to get in touch with the Parish Office or with the minister who conducted the funeral to arrange this. We have a Bereavement Team who will normally get in touch with you, usually by phone, to see how you are. Please let us know if you'd prefer not to have this.

The church is open most mornings and often throughout the day for anyone who would like to drop in for some peace or to pray. The Parish Office (when open) can let you have a key if you find the church locked.

Memorial Services

​We run a Memorial Service on a Sunday evening twice a year, usually on the third Sunday of May and the last Sunday in October or the first in November.  If you are the Next of Kin, you should receive an invitation for the first year or so after the funeral, but everyone is welcome. You will be able to check on this by looking at the page for the relevant month on this website, or contacting the Parish Office.

A shortened version of one of these services took place during Coronavirus lockdown, and was presented online via Facebook. You can watch the recording of that service here.